I Think I'm Ready

I want to date again. I know; shocking, isn't it?

So far, it's been a year and about 6 months since the ex and I parted ways, and boy, has it been fun! I've never felt happier, more liberated; it's like I'm a kid again sometimes. I don't have to explain my whereabouts or plan obligatory outings on my off days - I do's what I pleases. However, it does get a tad lonely at times. There are those days when all I want and need is a deep voice whispering in my ear, "Don't worry, I got you." There are the nights when I want to fall asleep on a rock solid chest, fingers running through my hair. I miss having that someone whose name I see on my caller ID and can't stop smiling - so much so that my cheeks hurt. That special man whose gaze turns my insides into mush.

*sigh*

I'm lonely y'all. At first, I thought it was a fleeting thing - everyone has these moments. But the feelings won't go away. These days, I fall asleep every night clutching my pillow as if it were another body. Shameful, yes.

I think it's time I let this "I'm my own best friend" facade go - at least for now. It worked when it did, and it served for that time. My emotions are bubbling over now... I know that I want to be in a romantic relationship. I'm ready for the butterflies, and the blushing, and the midnight "I'm thinking about you" texts; the kisses, the hugs, the silly jokes, the fun; the arguments, the making up, the openness, the longing; I want it all.

I should remind myself, though, not to lunge into just any ol' commitment (or lack, thereof) just 'cause I'm craving it. Let me pause for a moment and go over my list of requirements in my head.

• God-fearing Christian
• Educated - with a degree (or three) to show for it
• Confident - not cocky, confident
• Independent - in every sense of the word
• Childless *don't judge me*
• Funny
• Passionate
• FINE - I know what I mean...
• No repressed issues, 'cause lawwd knows I can't
• DAMN good kisser

Smh @ me creating "the perfect boo" from scratch. Lol - damn shame... or maybe not?

Meh! At least I'll recognize him when I meet him. Ha!