Slow down, will ya?

So many exams... So little time.

I got only 3 hours (or so) of sleep last night, and I DON'T LIKE IT!!
I'm cranky, tired, drowsy, head hurts, and it ain't even like I'm done. Still got one more tomorrow morning.

Could this qualify as cruel and unusual punishment? Seriously, this has got to be illegal in some county somewhere.

I'm done. Gotta go study some more. Well.... I don't have to.
If I don't wanna flunk the exam, I should.

So I will.

Melodramatic Rant

I've been bad. This is NOT what's up.
I told myself I'd post something a few times per week. So far, not keeping up. I actually started a post  about 2 weeks ago... Yes, I'm just now publishing it. **hangs head in shame** I know.

So, here's what I started ranting about before I got too sleepy to continue -

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It's been almost a week since my last post - no bueno. I shall NOT fall off the blogging wagon again, ever!! **echo: ever... ever... ever...**

This past week was really side-eye worthy for me - well, at least the latter part of it was. Thursday, I got to school so late I had to miss my first lecture. Then I get to my second class and encounter some bull.

[Background: We're required to submit a group project at the end of the semester. How did we choose our groups? Each of us was asked to do some minor research on countries with issues affecting children; we pitched our ideas in class, a survey was taken, and countries with more than one person willing to work on them were approved. There were two of us in my group, and right there and then, we drafted out a game plan - we each cover our topics (each of which would make up half of the project), consulting with each other whenever necessary, and eventually bring them together to form a whole.]

You caught up now? Great.

Waiting on the professor to come in... Homegirl (hereafter referred to as FBI) across the room asks, "Are you in my group?"
Me: No.
(Mumbling & discussion ensue between my groupmate - let's call her Harriet Tubman, shall we - and FBI.)
I overhear them say something along the lines of, "No, it's the one in the hat" referring to the chick sitting beside me.
At this point, I'm resolved to handle whatever schneikeys is brewing after class.

Fast forward to the end of lecture.

I wave Harriet over. She walks over to me with FBI.

FBI: So sorry - I meant to ask the other girl if she was in our group, not you.

Me: No problem.

Me: (to Harriet) How many people are in our group?

Harriet: Four.

Me: (perplexed, and very irritated) How so?

Harriet: Yeah, 'cause they weren't here the day we picked countries so they're joining our group.

crickets.
At this point, good people, I felt the need to go upside somebody head (yeah, somebody head. Got a problem?) **side eye**

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So, there ya go.
My post for today is recycled.
I oughta be 'shamed of myself, right? Meh, judge me.

Love and Psychics

I got an unsolicited psychic 'reading' done today.

How? I was at work, minding my own business, when a customer walked up to me and asked if I'd ever had a psychic reading done. I promptly replied that I do NOT believe in that mess. PS: I thought for sure that at this point, anyone with some fiber of pride would take a hint and shaddap. Alas, I was sadly mistaken. Homegirl was not backing down. I wish I could say that I was amused by what she said, but I can't. 'Cause I wasn't. I'd say I was smack in the middle of the drawbridge between freaked the hell out and dazed & confused.

Okay... Backtrack.

What did she say? Well, according to her, there is a young man out there who is looking to (as she put it) "ask for my hand in marriage"; but something is keeping us apart from each other - something that neither of us is responsible for.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously???? I mean, yay about the marriage part, but what?! First off, I know not of any brother who is so into me that he's considering proposing marriage. Secondly, I ain't got a man... It couldn't possibly be an ex, could it? Oh, dear God, I hope not. It occurred to me that it could be the last guy I dated (who shall henceforth be known as 'Magazine', for he hath numerous issues) having realized what a sucker he is for having acted the way he did. I'm striking that thought out 'cause I really REALLY don't want to have anything to do with him ever again. Why? He's got issues. Bless his heart, but I ain't that chick.

Back to Ms. Cleo. Even though she creeped me out, she got me thinking. What if?

What if this is a person I know?
What if I like this person?
What, if anything, could be keeping us apart?
Will we eventually be together?
When will we find each other?
How will I know...?

Gosh! So many questions...

Honestly, I'm in no rush to get married. To me, it's not how fast, but how well.

I do want to fall in love though. I miss being in love. I love love. I wanna be in love again... soon.

Ugh! Now my thoughts are all over the place. See what you done did, Ms Cleo? Collective laser beam side eye to you, ma'am.

Confuzzled

It seems my body is conspiring against me (if that makes any doggone sense).

I'm hot, cold, hot and cold, sneezing, giggly; then my head hurts, back aches, eyes itch and are heavy. Oh, and let's not forget Ms. Kitty is going bazonkers!

I dunno what the crack is going on but this here is not the business. Especially not while I'm single - which means I can't summon up my fine piece of man-candy to take care of business and restore the balance of things in me (literally - teehee).

Oh well... What's a woman to do? Yeah - don't answer that.

**side eye, fade out**

I Think I'm Ready

I want to date again. I know; shocking, isn't it?

So far, it's been a year and about 6 months since the ex and I parted ways, and boy, has it been fun! I've never felt happier, more liberated; it's like I'm a kid again sometimes. I don't have to explain my whereabouts or plan obligatory outings on my off days - I do's what I pleases. However, it does get a tad lonely at times. There are those days when all I want and need is a deep voice whispering in my ear, "Don't worry, I got you." There are the nights when I want to fall asleep on a rock solid chest, fingers running through my hair. I miss having that someone whose name I see on my caller ID and can't stop smiling - so much so that my cheeks hurt. That special man whose gaze turns my insides into mush.

*sigh*

I'm lonely y'all. At first, I thought it was a fleeting thing - everyone has these moments. But the feelings won't go away. These days, I fall asleep every night clutching my pillow as if it were another body. Shameful, yes.

I think it's time I let this "I'm my own best friend" facade go - at least for now. It worked when it did, and it served for that time. My emotions are bubbling over now... I know that I want to be in a romantic relationship. I'm ready for the butterflies, and the blushing, and the midnight "I'm thinking about you" texts; the kisses, the hugs, the silly jokes, the fun; the arguments, the making up, the openness, the longing; I want it all.

I should remind myself, though, not to lunge into just any ol' commitment (or lack, thereof) just 'cause I'm craving it. Let me pause for a moment and go over my list of requirements in my head.

• God-fearing Christian
• Educated - with a degree (or three) to show for it
• Confident - not cocky, confident
• Independent - in every sense of the word
• Childless *don't judge me*
• Funny
• Passionate
• FINE - I know what I mean...
• No repressed issues, 'cause lawwd knows I can't
• DAMN good kisser

Smh @ me creating "the perfect boo" from scratch. Lol - damn shame... or maybe not?

Meh! At least I'll recognize him when I meet him. Ha!

Back, baby!

So... I haven't blogged for about a year. WOW! I remember my last post was a few weeks before my ex's mom passed away. That kinda threw me off a little (I lie... it threw me off a LOT).

Anyways, enough of the past. All that matters is I'm here now. So how about we get into this already, yes? AWESOME!

I've been learning a lot about myself lately, especially as regards my emotions and how I deal with them.

I have learned that I am a sensitive character, and this is why I tend to shy away from potentially emotional situations (so that I don't end up bleeding AGAIN while picking up the broken pieces AGAIN).

I have learned that I have a type, and that very few things on this earth are sexier than a black man with big, broad, powerful, bulging... sweet lawd hammercy gawwd! *fans self furiously* Ahem! Yes, I love me a man with broad shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Speaking of which... There's this guy at job... *smiles sheepishly* He's cute and all - my type... physically. Otherwise, not so sure. I've known (I do use the term very loosely here) him since about Spring; thought there was some flirting. Now, not so sure. About a LOT of things. Is he really my type? 'Cause I sometimes get this narcissistic vibe from him.
Is he interested in me? I dunno... I never bothered to find out. I've never really been the type to do the chasing. I'm old school like that. (heh heh)

Oh well... I'll keep you updated on any major happenings - pinky swear ;)